


Long-Distance Calls

by decadent_mousse



Series: Phone Sex And Other (Mis)adventures [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:10:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decadent_mousse/pseuds/decadent_mousse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann was in the study working on some equations when the silence was suddenly interrupted by a cheery, jazzy tune emanating from his cell phone.  ...He already had a tirade prepared and ready to fire, starting with how Newton had no business changing his phone’s ringtone settings without his consent and ending with something along the lines of "I’m busy why are you bothering me," but he was completely unprepared for how good it felt to hear his voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long-Distance Calls

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this started out as one of five small, loosely-related drabbles I planned on writing and stringing together, but then it took off running and I just sort of held on for dear life as the word count climbed. I was originally aiming for sexy, but then I remembered I'm terrible at sexy, so I aimed for funny, and ultimately I hope I managed a decent compromise between the two.

Hermann was in the study working on some equations when the silence was suddenly interrupted by a cheery, jazzy tune emanating from his cell phone.  He fished it out of his pocket and answered it without looking away from the chalkboard. 

“Newton.”

“Hey, man.  How’s it going?”

He already had a tirade prepared and ready to fire, starting with how Newton had no business changing his phone’s ringtone settings without his consent and ending with something along the lines of _I’m busy why are you bothering me_ , but he was completely unprepared for how good it felt to hear his voice that all he actually ended up saying was, “It’s going fine.  How are you?”

“I’m alright, kinda tired – just got back to my hotel room.  I’m really sorry I didn’t call sooner, I’ve been crazy busy.”

“I understand, it’s fine.”

“Have you been feeding Gertrude?”

“Yes,” Hermann replied grimly.  “She’s bitten me three times already.”

“Dude, she knows you don’t like her.  Animals pick up on that sort of thing, y’know?  If you’d just give her a chance, she’d warm up to you.”

Hermann could still vividly remember the events of that morning, and the baleful glare the infernal reptile had leveled at him as he approached her terrarium.  “If I give her a chance, she’ll likely try to eat me.”

“Yeah, okay, maybe.”  Newton sounded entirely too amused.  “Dude, should I be worried?  Am I gonna get home and find out the two of you killed each other?” 

“It’s been… a struggle, but I’m sure the two of us will manage to survive another week without you.”

“You know, yesterday they asked me if I might like to stick around for a bit longer.”

His hand stopped, hovering in the middle of the chalkboard.  “Oh?”

“I told them I was very flattered, but that I had stuff that I needed to get back to – I mean, it’s only a matter of time before my students snap and eat the poor guy that’s subbing for me.”  He chuckled, “And, by the sound of it, only a matter of time of time before my iguana snaps and eats my boyfriend.  They were pretty disappointed when I said no, but they were cool about it.  Or… they _acted_ cool about it and plan on kidnapping me and dragging me back to the university when I try to make a break for the airport.  I guess we’ll see, huh?”

Hermann rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t quite help the smile that crept its way onto his face.  He resumed working on his equation.  “Yes, well, I’m looking forward to your return.”

“Me too.   So… what are you wearing?”

The abrupt subject change perplexed Hermann.  What an odd question.  “The sweater you gave for my birthday, if you must know.”

Newton snorted, “I _knew_ you liked it.  You pretended you didn’t, but I knew.”

“It’s an abomination and a crime against every other sweater in existence,” Hermann replied coolly, “and I am only wearing it because I was in a hurry to get dressed this morning and didn’t realize what I had put on until it was too late.”  That wasn’t entirely true.  Oh, it _was_ hideous, and he did hate it, but he had actively decided to wear it.  It reminded him of Newton, and he felt a little less lonely wearing it – but he wasn’t going to _admit_ that.  He would never hear the end of it.

“You’re so mean.”

Hermann shook his head.  He was half-convinced Newton had bought the sweater fully aware of how horrible it was – either as a joke or as some bizarre test to see if Hermann loved him enough to voluntarily wear it.  He supposed if it was the latter, it had worked.

“Don’t you want to know what _I’m_ wearing?”

“Not… particularly?”  He was beginning to feel like there was some hidden aspect to this conversation that he was missing.

Newton’s voice dropped to a seductive whisper, “I’m naked.”

Hermann almost dropped his chalk.  “Wh–“

“Yep, I’m just lying here, wishing I was back home.  With you.  In bed.  I’ve really, really been missing that.”                                                                                                      

“Oh.”

“What do you plan on doing with me when I get back?”

“This… this is ridiculous.”

Newton sighed heavily.  “Come on, Hermann.  Humor me.”

Hermann put down his chalk and sat in a nearby chair, feeling incredibly awkward.  “Very well.  I suppose I would… kiss you?”

“Oh yeah, where?”

“In the bedroom.”

The other man snickered.  “That’s not what I– okay.  Okay, you’re kissing me _in the bedroom_.  I like that.  Then what?”

“I’ll tell you how much I’ve missed you, how much I’ve missed touching you, and… and being touched by you.  Then, after I tell you that, I’ll pin you down on the bed and _show_ you, with my hands and with my tongue, just how badly you’ve been missed.  I won’t leave a single inch of you untouched.”  He stopped, for a moment, because he needed a moment to gather his thoughts.  The mental image was... very vivid.

The voice on the other end of the line was silent for long enough that Hermann had, for a panicked moment, thought that perhaps he was going about this all wrong.  He had never _done this_ before, what if it was actually so terrible that he’d stunned his partner into silence.  What if–

“Holy shit, Hermann,” Newt breathed, voice quavering.  “Keep going.”

Well, then.  “I’ll start by removing your shirt.  Then I’ll start kissing your throat, over and over again, and begin to make my way downward.  I’ll map out every beautiful, colorful line of your chest with my tongue, and then I’ll – perhaps I might…”  His breath caught in his throat.  He wasn’t sure if–

Newt’s voice had an almost desperate edge to it.  “Tell me.”

“I would like to bite you.  Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to… to leave a mark.  My mark.  On you.”

The incoherent noise Newt made sent a shiver down Hermann’s spine. 

Hermann licked his lips.  “Is that… would that be alright?”

“Fuck, yes.  Absolutely yes.”

“Where?”

Newt groaned.  “Anywhere, everywhere.  Jesus, Hermann.”  He sounded close, so close, and when Hermann shut his eyes, he could swear he almost _felt_ him there in the room with him – could taste and smell him with every breath, even though he was thousands of miles away.

He was so hard, at this point, that he was aching, but he was worried if he started tending to himself now, he’d lose his train of thought entirely.  He wanted to make this last, for both of them. 

He opened his mouth to continue, and that was when his phone made an urgent beeping noise, and reality unceremoniously came crashing back down around his head.  “I have another call.”

“What?  So?  Ignore it.”

Hermann leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.  The last thing he wanted to do was end their conversation prematurely, but…  “Contrary to popular belief, Newton, the world does not revolve around what’s happening in our pants – or your lack thereof.  It could be something important.  Just give me a moment, and I _will_ get back to you, I promise.”

“Are you serious?  I swear to God, dude, if you put me on hold I’m gonna–“

Hermann switched lines.  “Yes, hello?”

A stranger’s voice crackled over the line.  “Hey, can I talk to Steve?”

_Damn it._ “Ah, you have the wrong number.”

“Oh, sorry, man!”  The line went dead.

Hermann looked at his cell phone, prepared to continue where they had left off.  A horrible, sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach along with a realization.  He hadn’t put Newton on hold.  He had, in his haste, hung up on him entirely.  He was still trying to think of how he could best word an apology, when his phone vibrated ominously in his hand.  He had a text message. 

As usual, Newton’s liberal use of texting shorthand made him feel like he was going to go cross-eyed.  It looked more like the written equivalent of a sneeze than an actual message:

_omfg im so mad @ u rn!  screw it im going to sleep no phone sex for u buddy in fact  no more sex for u ever again EVER dsfsddkajsdflk_

He had no idea what _dsfsddkajsdflk_ meant, but he knew it couldn’t be anything good.


End file.
